Where Do I Go From Here?

When I think about where I am in life, I find myself roaming this world feeling extremely lost and disappointed.  Lost because I don't know where I'm going anymore.  I know where I've been, the hurdles I've had to leap over, and the pains I've had to endure.  I've had life changing things happen to me from losing people I love, my mom one year and my brother a year and one month later.  I lost the ability to walk a little over a year after having my son and now battling severe migraine headaches and neuralgia headaches at the same bloody time that invade my life like ruthless aliens from another planet.  I can't tell which way is up or down, left or right.  

Then I think about why I'm so disappointed in my life.  I've been at a job for over ten years that I get no satisfaction from, no gratification whatsoever.  No fulfillment.  I started a small online business making dolls that would, I believe, benefit little girls in my community with the hopes of doing this business full-time, because it would make me happy and finally take me away from that job.  Now, don't get me wrong.  I know I should be grateful to have that job of ten plus years, but I literally cannot stand it.  All it does is make me feel trapped like a caged bird, unable to break through the bars of the cage to spread her wings.  I can't go anywhere, nor do anything.  I accomplish what others want me to accomplish to suite their business needs, but not what I want to suite my needs.  I wonder around this job feeling inadequate and unfulfilled.  Working for the "man" and not working for myself.  At the end of the day, I just need to know and feel like I have done something that has made me proud.  Proud of the work I've done.  Proud of what I have accomplished.  To lay my head down on my pillow at night with an exhausted, yet cheesy grin on my face because I had an awesome day.

So how on earth do I find my way after being lost?  How on earth do I go from being disappointed to being happy, proud, and accomplished?  I have no idea.  I pace back and forth in my mind trying to find the answers...trying to find a solution.  I spend time in prayer and contemplation with myself prostrating before God, but not the words to express my frustrations, my fears.  What do I do?  Where do I go from here?